


Dumbass

by Galaxy_Angst



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cas is clueless about Dean’s romantic feelings, Dean is sad, Dean opens up a little, Dean represses emotions, Dean wants Cas to love him, Destiel - Freeform, Feelings, M/M, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Helps Dean Winchester, Self-Esteem Issues, Unrequited Castiel/Dean Winchester, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 19:53:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15915135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxy_Angst/pseuds/Galaxy_Angst
Summary: They have been through much together, Dean caught feelings; Castiel did not. The eldest Winchester was never good with emotions, not since his mother died. Sam reaches out a helping hand and Dean takes it, all in all Dean has so much to say but little confidence to speak his thoughts. Especially with Sam.





	Dumbass

**Author's Note:**

> Felt angsty so have this.... sad... angsty fic ^^ also I have a tumblr where I post updates on fanfics like a heads up and tell ppl what I'm up to or if I'm gonna do anything new, my user is Siriusly_very_gay and I left a link (idk if it will work tho) in the ending notes.

The bitter feeling slinked around Deans throat tightening every minute as he sat in the bunker with Sam & Cas opposite him, eyes unseeing but seeing Dean brought a cup of coffee to his lips. It was 9pm which was a little late to be having his coffee however Dean couldn’t care less. Castiel was sat on the couch reading a book about the beauty of air conditioning his eyes slowly squinting in concentration. 

Sam was on the phone with Bobby talking about a case that they cracked down on last night, Dean glumly thought back on it. He watched Cas read his book eyes direct and intensely focusing on his eyes his lips and his hands. Dean admired Castiel; he respected the angel for what he was, a friend. That hadn’t stopped him from catching feelings for him, Castiel wasn’t just a friend though but his best friend. Dean knew it was pointless to nurture his crush for him if he would never confess; of coarse though Dean wouldn’t do that anyway because he already knew the answer he’d receive. 

“I’m going to my room” is all Dean said before taking his coffee with him to his bedroom, silently shutting the door he let out a sigh. Love, how could Castiel understand romance heck even Dean himself couldn’t understand it. Castiel may have watched humans fall in love but he’d never had one love him nor love a human himself... or themself? Castiel wasn’t human who was to say they were male or female or either at all?

However Cas had a male vessel and didn’t correct him or anyone else when they referred to him with male pronouns, so Castiel was fine with being masculine. This only caused Dean to feel even more insecure about his feelings for him; to have feelings for a creature that isn’t human but looks human. Dean sat on his bed putting his cup on his bedside table placing his head in his hands he closed his eyes. 

He was close to the angel but that’s all there was; closeness. A deep meaningful friendship that Dean wanted to be more than it already was but Cas was oblivious. Dean tried to be more forward but he was a coward so he couldn’t do what he wanted except longingly stare at the angel. Castiel would stare back and spark that small flame of hope inside him that Cas could feel the same and they won’t just be friends, but nothing ever happens. 

Castiel is content with their friendship as is, although he protects him and cares a great deal for Dean he didn’t reveal any signs that he felt the same as Dean did for him. His heart ached a little with pain the pain of unrequited feelings, suddenly his phone buzzed with a text message. He checked the screen to find out it was Sam, reluctantly Dean checked his text..

‘Hey, you okay, if you want to talk about it then I can listen?’ 

Dean swallowed thickly; hesitantly texting his brother back he told him that he didn’t want to talk about it but Sam insisted so he agreed. Within minutes Sam was in his room flashing a pleasant smile at his older brother. He sat on a chair near the bed after removing used jeans from it. 

“Dean, what’s going on?” He asked his eyes focused and concerned giving Dean all his attention; minutes passed before Dean worked up the courage to admit his troubles. “I caught feelings Sam that’s what’s going on, I caught feelings for the worst I could possibly have feelings for” he watched Sam as he spoke- rambled on purposely edging his way around using Cas’s name. 

The younger man listened intently his eyebrows drew together a little “Who is it?” Sam of course wasn’t going to let him slip away without revealing their name, Dean complied. “Cas; okay it’s Cas that I have feelings for and it fucking sucks” Sam didn’t seem shocked or confused or even surprised, except he did appear a little amused, “I knew it, well I didn’t know but I guessed. So what’s the problem with that?” he replied crossing his arms, Dean thought over everything about him and Cas. His thoughts and opinions and memories flooded his mind but Dean could only say one thing. 

“He’s our best friend” Sam’s forehead creased when he frowned at Dean as though what he’d said offended him. “And? What’s so wrong with that?” Dean gave himself a moment before explaining his feelings; revealing himself to Sam. “Everything. Everything is wrong with that; loving something like him is wrong. Having feelings for your best friend isn’t cool Sammy! All it’s gonna give you is heartbreak because they’ll never love you it’s in every shitty rom com ever” Dean stood from his bed moving further away from Sam as though escaping from the situation. 

Sam remained in his seat watching his brother sadly with his puppy eyes hr laced his fingers together “Dean you won’t know unless you tell him how you feel, communication is really important. Cas likes you and you guys get along pretty well. Plus me and Jess were best friends and we dated it’s not always heartbreaks” Sam tried to reach out to his brother but Dean shook his head glaring at the floor trying to fight the ache in his chest. 

“You don’t know how he feels about me, I’m a pain in the ass and I- I mess things up. I cause hell for that guy-“ Dean tried to argue with Sam to tell him that Cas couldn’t love him but Dean didn’t want to encourage his heart; he wanted to crush it. “Well you don’t know how he feelings about you either Dean and you’re just assuming his views on you. It’s not good to be so negative, Cas is a nice guy and if you did confess and he didn’t feel the same then he wouldn’t scorn you; he wouldn’t hate you Dean. Cas can’t hate you.” Dean pushed his hand to his face his fingers pushing against his close eyelids trying to stop the tears he could feel building. 

“I’m a dumbass” he murmured but Sam heard and he stood up his stern direct and knowing “No, you’re not stupid Dean. You’re not stupid for having feelings it’s normal and it’s okay” Dean turned his back to him fully his throat was becoming tight he didn’t trust his voice. Sam was quiet until he pushed a little more “ You’re not a dumbasss Dean” softly spoken and gentle as though he would hurt him if he shouted or spoke casually. Dean felt his lips betray him as they trembled slightly he bit his bottom lip to stop the trembling “Sam, I can’t. There’s no chance Cas could like me” his voice was a little strained at the beginning. 

Sam sighed before pushing the subject further “Why not?” Dean was silent for a couple minutes before he allowed the words to leave his mouth “Because I’m me; I’m Dean Winchester. A selfish son of a bitch that drinks to hard and looses any damn thing he cares about” Sam doesn’t say anything so Dean continues “I can’t open up without getting mad and making excuses, I’m not worth it Sam. I’m not the guy people fall in love with, Cas wouldn’t love me. I’m just the human he runs around after cleaning up my mess I can’t do anything right. I try Sam I try but it’s not enough because I’m not...” Dean stopped himself his eyes also betrayed him as tears spilled he wiped them away harshly. 

“That’s why Sam, I’m a dumbass”

**Author's Note:**

> So ^^ how're you doing huh? hope I haven't soured your mood here is the link to my tumblr btw: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/siriuslyverygayblog


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